Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
