I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
