I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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