Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize