I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize