He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
