If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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