It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish you could order shots online.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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