the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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