i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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