He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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