I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
