forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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