Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
