you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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