I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
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Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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