Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
