I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay