Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.