I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
