I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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