And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Randomize
