My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize
