The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize