he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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