real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
