a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
my vag is so smooth its legendary
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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