Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
