singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
