the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize