I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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