first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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