we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
