You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
