I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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