i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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