I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
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My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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