But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
