seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
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I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
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You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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