I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
