some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
