people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
