dude i'm inner monologue high
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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