so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I am available for nakedness
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
