yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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