I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
