he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize