Hey man sorry I got all grabby
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize