How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
