it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I looked at my own cervix.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
