Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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