Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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