Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
