everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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