I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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