why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
