Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
