is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
