Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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