Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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