I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
