I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
