remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i out mim tonsoeep
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